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Gay or bisexual - what does it mean? Is there a large difference between you and your peers? Or is it a combination of being otherwise normal with a few different aspects to your life? I would tend to agree strongly with the latter view, as gay people are remarkably similar to most others in many respects. They eat, they sleep, they study (some of them), they wear clothes and some of them even enjoy sport or going to the pub. So what is it that makes them at at all different to anyone else?
The aspect might be that many gay and lesbian people sometimes have a different attitude about having fun. Usually the pressure of trying to catch or impress members of the opposite sex relieves the barriers some feel they have to put up. That's not to say that all gay people act naturally around others; but you'll find, if you go to a gay club or pub, that the people there generally have a fantastic time. The atmosphere is far and away among the best around, with people mingling casually and turning the Court hotel into a huge outdoor party. The music is great, people have a good time and the bouncers are actually friendly and come to talk to you. Guys don't have to invent sleazy pick up lines to lure women. Women don't have to sit and look available, wait to be bought drinks by a towering hulk or play hard to get. OK, I admit there're a few stereotypes in there but from a few years of experience of going to straight clubs and pubs it's surpising how often this plastic picture often the case.
Being gay can quite often mean being sensitive in character as well. I have noticed that amongst gay guys, the level of thinking and emotions (at least those that are expressed) is often greater than that of a lot of other guys. Could this be what contributes to our supposedly enormous incomes? Or is it that many gay people don't have children and maybe a spouse to support meaning they have more disposable income for themselves? Interesting. Maybe it's a combination of both.
Being gay does have its down side as well. Unfortunately, it can also be one of the bitchiest and gossipy scenes around. When you're gay there's no such thing as a secret amongst those who are on the scene. Word travels very fast, and people find out an extraordinary number of things about you that you thought were not public knowledge. Rumour will spread behind people's backs and feelings will be hurt, but it's not all as bad as it sounds. It's really one of the minor drawbacks to being on the gay scene.
One of ths more serious drawbacks, however, is the threat of abuse and discrimination from homophobic people, whether verbal or physical. Many gay people have at some stage been either physically threatened or bashed because of their sexuality. Many others have been called names - perverted, AIDS spreaders, faggot etc. Many people still feel worried about coming out to their work peers, for fear of losing their jobs, and have to seriously modify their behaviour in public for their own safety. It's for this reason that many parents fear for their kids, or take it hard, when they learn of the sexuality of their sexuality, because of the difficult of the lives they see those children living. However, this is no excuse to reject such children.
Luckily it's not always as bad as it seems. Unfortunately these risks will always exist, but life can also be very rewarding for people who come to terms with their sexuality. In larger cities gay people are often protected. There are gay support groups, gay venues, gay counselling services and in some cities even exclusively gay suburbs. This allows us to live a life which can be as largely submerged in the gay community as we want and feel comfortable with. While many of my friends and myself continue to have a number of heterosexual friends with whom we feel comfortable, we can also associate with many gay people and spend a majority of time in a gay-friendly atmosphere. Those gay people living in smaller towns often find it difficult to fit in or meet people they feel comfortable around. Often these places are less accepting of gay people and it can be difficult to find partners that feel the same.
So being gay or bisexual does have a number of characteristics, many of which are positive. However, the underlying point is that they are perfectly healthy, normal people who are just as human as anyone else. Sure, there are differences between them and the heterosexual commumity but they also share a huge number of features, often making it difficult to distinguish between them and anyone else. You have probably met gay people before, quite possibly without knowing it, and will no doubt meet more during your life. They remain a very interesting and well-worthwhile group of people in our society to get to know. You might be pleasantly surprised at what you find.
Another interesting person to get to know
Matt Whitfort [List Contact]
Sandra Marin is a noted lesbian artist in the United States who has had some of her work exhibited on the World Wide Web. Her bio states that she believes clothes hide our feelings and passions. She is an ardent advocate of the nude form.
"Coming together" - just one of Sandra Marin's works exhibited on the Internet.